Joy, Regardless
Enjoy a powerful memoir about rediscovering the wholeness that’s been in your heart all along. Joy, Regardless is a tender, hopeful memoir for anyone who’s ever longed for more. A story of finding freedom, contentment and joy… even when life falls apart. Join readers worldwide who are feeling a little less alone, a little lighter, and a little freer on their journey home to themselves.
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Chapter 1 Wake up

My husband, Phil, rolled his eyes whenever the word ‘lotus flower’ was spoken. He had wanted to go to the ‘normal’ pre-birth classes, but I insisted we go to a more holistic class that would teach us how to give birth naturally and joyfully. Who wouldn’t want to give birth calmly, even orgasmically? My pen was poised, capturing every piece of information from our instructor; her untamed mane of curls, the earth-toned dress draped around her and the scent of incense that lingered in the air was surely a sign of someone who had birthed like this before. These sacred notes would become the basis for my ‘birth plan’, but I summed it up for my obstetrician in one line: I want to give birth naturally, and naturally only. My gaze momentarily drifted from the instructor to her yard, which peeked behind her in an arched window. It was the kind of place where spinach grew wildly and barefoot children chased chickens, a refuge from the nine-to-five. My mind wandered to the alternative life I, too, might have led had I not failed my UN job interview. Instead of finding my calling in Nairobi, here I was, in New Zealand, learning the subtle art of cervix-opening. Who was I, really? An ambitious do-gooder marketer? A soon-to-be mother? Could I possibly be both? For years, I’d thrown myself into non-profits, convinced that my purpose was intricately intertwined with my career. Yet, as my belly swelled with anticipation, I grappled with the notion that perhaps my purpose lay in the boundless love I already felt for my unborn child. My focus returned to the room and the other couples sitting around us on purple cushions. Everyone looked like you’d expect them to look in a mindfulness-based birthing class. And while I tried my best to look the part, I knew we were the odd ones out – the straighty one-eighties. My life felt so far removed from what I imagined the lives of my fellow classmates to be; I was a marketer living in the burbs with my newly wedded husband in our newly purchased house. I’d love to be a hippie, my mind wandered again. I loved nature, travelling and music. I read spirituality books. But they were hobbies, not a way of life. I had deliberately chosen the well-trodden path of approved societal expectations – school, university, career, marriage and now a baby. Check, check, check, check, check. I felt bound to doing things the ‘right’ way. That’s why my pen was poised. That’s why I was the annoying one asking all the questions. I now wanted to birth ‘right’. The other women didn’t seem to carry this same doubt, at least not on the surface. They absorbed the instructor’s words with quiet confidence, nodding softly, as if they had always known their bodies were made for this. Their ease felt like a kind of freedom my body and mind had yet to experience. Yes, freedom, that was what I yearned for most.

praise

"This really is such a beautifully written, insightful and honest memoir. I feel like I’m still catching my breath." Kate Stevens Book Editor, Australia "Lara has written something quite unique — a truly inspirational story and one of great courage and faith. She has a real talent for storytelling, holding nothing back — drawing you in with every page. A must-read for any soul-searching woman." Bernadette Agius Author of I'm Staying at Richard's
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Chapter 1 cont...

‘Just like a flower bud opens when it’s ready, so will your cervix. Your body is designed to give birth naturally. Trust in its wisdom. Visualise your cervix opening,’ the instructor said. The slight rise in the corner of Phil’s mouth told me he was savouring this moment, storing it as ammunition, as fuel to his rational fire. He didn’t want us to come here and learn about cervix openings. Why was it necessary, he argued, when we were paying an obstetrician good money? His playful look of self-satisfaction suggested that this argument was one he would win. And he loved to win. Phil’s scientific worldview often conflicted with my inner want-to-be hippie. In his mind, a good doctor would deliver our firstborn safely. In my mind – or was it my heart, I could never tell which was what – I wanted my body to birth naturally, effortlessly. My cervix would open like a lotus flower, goddamn it. Yet, equally, a part of me was relieved to have the best obstetrician in town on our team. You know, just in case. As we said goodbye to our instructor and classmates, Phil grabbed my hand, signalling he wanted to make a swift exit. From the safety of our car, Phil let loose. ‘Your cervix will open naturally, just like an apple falls from the tree when it’s ready to be eaten. Jesus Christ,’ he laughed. ‘I know, I know. It was a bit full-on, but I really liked it. It’s definitely how I want to birth. But how many times do you reckon she said lotus?’ I said, glancing at him sideways. ‘I lost count. And, baby, don’t put so much pressure on yourself about the birth. It will be what it will be. We have a good obstetrician. That’s what matters most,’ he added. I shifted in my seat, thinking about how I could respond. I, too, liked to win. ‘Well, I think we have the best of both worlds,’ I proclaimed. ‘We have a belief in my body and medical support if we need it.’ I stared at the road ahead with a flutter in my belly, hoping, wishing and willing my body to do its job. I didn’t want a caesarean birth. I had read that a natural birth provides the baby with the best start in life. That’s what I wanted. And I had no reason to believe that a natural birth wasn’t next on the checklist. Fast track a few weeks and a few more baby books to thirty-five weeks’ gestation. It was Christmas Day when life started to more forcibly chart its own course. I’ve heard people refer to these moments as wake-up calls but I didn’t know what I was waking up from. I would never have called myself asleep or unconscious at the time. In fact, I would have stubbornly argued against it. I attended that mindfulness-based birthing class, after all; I recycled, practised yoga, read my star sign; and I cared, really cared about the world, which drew me to all manner of non-profits for work. But I was severed from my soul. With the great power of hindsight, I can see that now. This Christmas Day curveball was the first of a series of shake-ups that would eventually, finally, see me looking, not at my career (or astrology sign), but within my own heart for a sense of completeness. It would take years. My mind really didn’t want to let go. Some people, such as spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, experience very clear moments of awakening, a moment in time when the grip of the mind unbinds itself forevermore. My journey of self-discovery didn’t go quite like that. It was more of a street fight between my heart and head. Perhaps that is how it is for people like me with a strong-willed mind – reclaiming our hearts and souls requires time and tenacity and grace. That’s what it took for me.

Available now

Discover the joy you’ve been carrying all along. Find Joy, Regardless on Amazon, Kindle, Kobo, Apple Books, and at selected independent bookstores. "Lara’s character is relatable and at times I felt like she was speaking directly to me." "Joy, Regardless by Lara Charles, was such a powerful memoir." Goodreads reviews
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Thanks for finding me

A friend once called me a paradox - deep and reflective, yet light and full of laughter. I took it as truth. My writing dives beneath the surface, but life with four kids keeps me grounded in the mess and the magic.
When life unravelled, and cancer cracked me open, I stopped chasing control and found something unexpected: a sense of home within myself. That’s what my memoir Joy, Regardless is really about - the universal search for wholeness.
Through my Substack and podcast Deeper Threads, and my published essays, I explore the quiet truths that shape us - the beliefs we inherit, the stories we outgrow, and the beauty of remembering who we are.
I was born on Darkinjung Country in NSW Australia, and am based in Aotearoa New Zealand, where the book is set.

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what people say

  • "Lara's knowledge is no longer conceptual. It is no longer borrowed knowledge from spiritual teachers or teachings. Lara has taken a dive into herself in a true and deep way. Her writing reflects her special inner light of awareness, a light that many can benefit from its clarity in how to live with true purpose and in happiness."
    Shikhaa, Spiritual Teacher and Co-founder of the Wisdom of Meditation Centre, New Zealand
  • "Lara’s book is beautifully written and her unique voice shines through right from the start. It’s equal parts humorous and poignant but always unflinchingly honest. It is not only a cancer survivor’s story but a powerful story of her inner journey, which is the journey we all have in common, whether we have cancer or not."
    Petrina Hargrave, Co-founder, Thriver's Ark
Discover the joy you’ve been carrying all along
Read Joy, Regardless now.
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Copyright © 2026 Lara Charles. All Rights Reserved. Privacy Policy Professional photography by Michelle Jacobson and Rebecca McMillian I work across the lands known as Australia and Aotearoa New Zealand. In Australia, I acknowledge the Darkinjung People and the Guringai People, Traditional Custodians of the land on which I lived, and pay my respects to their elders, past, present and emerging. In Aotearoa, I acknowledge and pay my respect to Māori as tangata whenua (First People) of Aotearoa New Zealand.